


Supervillian? I like the sound of that

by fireandphoenix



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Brothers are annoying sometimes, Damian just wants to draw thats it, Dick is there for amusement, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, In the Beginning, Jason can't catch a break, Jason returns home, Light Angst, Seriously someone get Tim a bed, Tim Needs Sleep, Tim needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 05:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17676929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireandphoenix/pseuds/fireandphoenix
Summary: It's Jason's first time stepping back into the manor, and all he was planning to do was read his book in peace. However, there are certain people that think Jason closing the library doors is an actual invitation to bug him. Great. Another brother just wants a break, and maybe the crime lord of the family will give him some pointers on how to finally escape the soul-sucking Robin mantle.





	Supervillian? I like the sound of that

For once, Jason was at peace. Well, not really at peace per se ( _because he still felt the pit riding in the back of his mind, felt the dark madness swirling inside, just begging to be released and cause chaos; he felt the uncontrollable itch to cause damage, to make someone bleed and suffer what he went through_ ), but better than the usual. For once, it wasn’t screaming at the front of his mind, instead just lurking in the back. And of course, he still felt the uncomfortable feelings that he didn’t belong. This was his first time back at the manor after the whole debacle with Bruce in the time-space-thing and honestly it’s rough. Really, the only reason he’s here is because Alfie asked. That man is even more manipulative than Bruce, but ya gotta love ’im. So aside from the raging pit inside his mind and the thrum of anxiety (the defective Robin, the one who died on the job) beneath his skin, he was at peace.

He had taken the liberty that as soon as he had the awkward and stifled conversation with Bruce ( _“Jason.” “Oh, hey Bruce. Alfred invited me over.” “I can see that. Listen about your last case file-” “Bruce. The only reason I’m playing ‘nice’ right now is because Alfred is in the other room and I’m not that stupid enough to want to die. Twice. But, please, continue that sentence and give me one reason for me to kill you right here.” “Jason, that was uncalled for and unnecessary-” “Try me.”)_ , he went straight for the library. The library at the manor was one of the only reasons Jason ever stuck around as a kid, well that and, the whole Robin thing.

It was as big as the ballrooms they had and filled with towering oak shelves stacked with pristine books and first-editions. There were plush sofas and reclining chairs centered in the middle of the room with the softest rug underneath. Tall windows scaled the walls, allowing natural light to filter through and fill the place. The sofas were placed in the perfect position so that the natural light would land on the cushions, effectively warming them to a comfortable temperature. Lamps lined the room, and there were a couple of light stands next to the sofa in case of late night reading. In Jason’s opinion, it was a sliver of heaven (the only piece he would ever have).

He plopped himself down on his favorite sofa, stretched himself to cover the entire thing, and shoved his hand down between the cushions. Alfie had informed him that everything of his was as it was left, meaning that there should be a book here… somewhere… With a cry of triumph, Jason pulled out the most beat up copy of _Pride and Prejudice_. His mother had given him this book for Christmas one year, and he’s kept it ever since. It’s a reminder of who he is and where he comes from, something that he greatly needed when he was first getting into the giant mess of galas and suits that Bruce would force him to partake in. It’s also, his favorite book and right now he has a strong craving for Jane Austen.

He thumbs the yellowing pages and smoothes out the wrinkled cover, smiling fondly as he remembers his younger self shoving the book in the cushions so he could hide it from Bruce (Bruce knew where it was, but he didn’t dare bring it up to Jason). He opens the first page and settles in.

* * *

 

Halfway through the first chapter, just as Jason is settling into that reading haze where you’re sucked into the book, the doors to the library fly open as Dick-perfect Robin- Grayson trips and falls into the room. “Jaybird you’re here!!! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were visiting!!!” He cartwheeled across the room like the circus brat he was and stood in front of Jason with the stupidest pout on his face and hands akimbo like the child he truly was on the inside. He stood there, and effectively blocked Jason’s escape to the door. “People are gonna think you don’t like me Jaybird if you keep acting like this,” he exclaimed as he wagged his finger in Jason’s face, and Jason was seriously regretting not killing Bruce and then getting killed by Alfred for getting blood on the carpet.

“I didn’t tell you, _**Dick**_ , because I actually wanted some peace and quiet, which is not something I can have with you,” Jason growled, bringing the book up to his nose, hoping Dick would get the message.

However, as the dense buffon that he was, Dick gasped and protested, “Hey! I can too be quiet. I just choose not to.” He smiled smugly and Jason merely raised an eyebrow. Dick sighed and deflated. “OK fine, I promise to be quiet and stuff. Just let me on the couch. It’s my favorite one.” And with that, he began to crawl over Jason’s legs, completely ignoring Jason’s squawking and totally manly shrieks for him to get _off_.

“Now-ugh- I know- ouch Jason don’t kick me- that we haven’t always - _ugh seriously Jason I will hurt you_ \- seen eye-to-eye, but just know that-ouchhhhhhhh, seriously dude you have _shoes on_ \- I’m really, really proud of you for coming to the manor again.” And with that emotional baggage, Dick ruffled Jason’s hair and stretched himself out on the back of the couch like a cat and began playing games on his phone, completely oblivious to the catatonic state he put Jason in.

Jason tried to cover his moment of feelings by fixing his hair and clearing his throat. “Uh, thanks Dickiebird, it’s ah, it’s good to be back.” The only response Jason got was a hum from Dick, and so Jason turned back to his book, feeling a little bit lighter than before.

* * *

 

When he reached chapter 5, the library doors slammed open again and Jason groaned loudly. “Grayson! Father has informed me that you are in here, and I demand that you help me with my art proj- oh Todd. You’re here too. Why are you here too?” Damian glared daggers at Jason and crossed his arms, while trying to subtlety hide his sketchbook. “Ya know, I’m beginning to wonder that same thing too. Adios Demon Spawn.” Jason began to rise from the couch but Dick flung out his hand, effectively slapping Jason in the face with his backhand while screeching, “WAIT!!”

Sometimes, Jason really wanted to kill Dick. He could blame it on the pit. “What now Dick?” Jason growled, feeling his anger spike as Damian just -tt-ed like some haughty peacock.

“Nobody has to leave! We all want the same thing: some peace and quiet.” At this weak argument both Jason and Damian raised an eyebrow. Dick relented. “OK so you both want peace and quiet and I just want to hang with my brothers. We can do an easy compromise, Damian will sit on the other side of the couch!”

“No.”

“Absolutely not.”

Dick flailed his arms, and somewhere in Jason’s mind he made the connection to an excited seal. “Guys!! Seriously this will be fine. Jaybird can read his book in peace, and Dami I know you don’t really need my help with your art- you’re way better than me, so you can just draw in peace! It’ll be perfect. C’mon guys, pleaseeeeeeeeeeee?” As a final touch, Dick pulled out his patented puppy dog eyes, and Jason felt his resolve crumbling. But luckily for his dignity, Damian broke first.

“-tt-, whatever. At least Todd has better tastes than Drake in his literature.” With a nod to Jason’s book, Damian plopped himself down on the armrest next to Jason’s feet and pulled out his sketchbook and pencils. Dick beamed and settled himself back down, this time laying to where his head was next to Damian and his disgusting feet were near Jason’s face.

Jason, still shocked Damian broke that quickly, finally asked, “Wait. What does the pretender read?” At this Dick snorted and Damian’s lip curled in disgust. “He reads the Star Wars comics and argues they’re classical literature. Truly, Drake is as incompetent in reading as he is on the field.” Dick flicked Damian in the head for the last part, but looked at Jason in surprise when he barked out a laugh.

“Of course he would say that. Timbo probably doesn’t even know about Little Woman.” Chuckling to himself with equal part despair for his replacement’s education and humor at the thought of the sleep deprived teen sitting down to read Little Women, Jason picked up his book from where he had dropped it when Dick hit him in the face. Dick and Damian exchanged glances, surprised to see Jason so calm. Not one to let that go unchallenged, Jason raised an eyebrow. “Well? Y’all gonna continue awkwardly staring at each other or actually relax? With the rate things are going, Timmers is probably gonna walk through any minute,” he muttered as a side note. Both boys hurried to begin their activities, scared to ruin one of Jason’s rare good moods.

For a couple of minutes, the only sound that was heard was the quiet turning of paper and the soft marks from Damian’s pencil along with the tapping of Dick’s phone. Jason was surprisingly, feeling at peace.

“Hey Jaybird, bet you $10 Tim comes in in 30 minutes.”

“15 minutes, and bet.”

* * *

 

13 minutes and 33 seconds later (Jason was timing), the library doors were flung open again and Jason crowed in triumph while Dick groaned. An exhausted Tim staggered in, wearing a Gotham University hoodie that Jason is pretty sure is actually Dick’s, superman pajama pants, Batman slippers, and had a pink headband with sparkly cat ears on it pushing back his hair.

“Nice outfit, Babybird.” Tim ignored the comment and continued his zombie walk.

Dick, Damian, and Jason all watched as he slowly shuffled to the rug before face planting on it.

“Hmmmphhhhfffff,” Tim mumbled into the rug and Jason snickered.

“Uhh, Timmy could you repeat that?” Dick asked, effectively ignoring Jason’s aggressive signing of “pay up or I’ll kick you in the nuts” and turning his attention to the lump on the rug.

Tim sighed, before propping his head on his hands and kicking his feet lightly in the air, making him look like he was on a magazine or something. Except for the giant bags under his eyes, his pasty-looking-deader-than-Jason skin, the weird rat nest thing that was called his hair, and his horrid fashion taste, he looked like a model for a magazine.

“I saidddd,” Tim started, looking like this all was beneath him.

With the opportunity of Dick’s distraction with Tim, Jason kneed Dick in the balls. Hard. “OH MY GO- JASON YOU RICHARD” Dick screamed as he flung his arms out and fell onto the sofa from his perch, accidentally slapping Damian and causing him to fall off the armrest.

Tim continued on, fully ignoring the chaos in front of him. “I came looking for Jason and B said he was in here.”

“JASON COME HERE I SWEAR I’M GOING TO KILL YOU”

“Waitwaitwait, Dick don’t do this-ACK”

“Grayson you ruined my art!”

“Aww I’m sorry Lil D, you can make anoth- OUCH JASON THAT HURT”

“Heh, that’s-ugh- what- ouch- you get! Anyways, Timmers- owowowowow get off Dick you way a ton- what did you want from- oof- me?”

“Well Jason, I’m tired and-”

“Excuse me I do not weigh a ton! I’ll have you know I was voted top 5 for sexiest police officers in the _country_ -”

“Grayson, you are subsequently crushing me _and_ Todd. Get. Off.-”

“Dick the only reason you were voted top 5 is because there aren’t any other police officers _alive_ for the contest-”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR SO HELP ME-”

“I’ve been doing research on superheros and supervillains, and I’ve come to the conclusion that-”

“ _Waitwaitwaitwait_ Jason don’t try and take my wallet!! I’ll give you the money later I swear but this money is for my ice cream-”

“-I’m going to become a-”

“Grayson and Todd, if you do not _get off me now I will make sure your next few nights will not be pleasant._ ”

“Well tough Dickiebird. I won the bet and I want my money now.”

“-Supervillain and I wanted your expertise.”

“Jaybird I swear I’ll give you the money later, I’ll even- wait what.” At this, Dick looked at Tim with his mouth open and Jason turned to look at Tim with an incredulous expression.

Damian took the moment to weasel his way out from beneath his brothers and wonder where he went wrong in his past lives to end up with these fools as family.

Grayson was on top of Todd with Todd using his feet and one hand to keep Grayson stuck in the air above him while his other hand was stuck in Grayson’s back pockets; Drake was just staring at all of them with the most bitter expression he has ever seen, and Damian sighed.

“Really Grayson, were you not paying attention to your brother? He clearly stated that through research he has come to the conclusion that turning to a life of crime and villainy is better suited for him than hanging around with you incompetent fools. Although, Drake, I am offended you chose to go to Todd, instead of me, an actual assassin, and grandson of one of the Batman’s most formative enemies.” Unlike his brothers, Damian could multitask.

Tim merely shrugged in response and Damian sighed again, before beginning to pick up his pencils that were scattered on the ground. Jason blinked, mouth closing and opening but unable to make any sound. He lowered, well technically dropped, Dick onto the ground and turned to face Tim fully.

“Ok let me get this straight.” He ignored Damian’s scoffs and Dick’s squawking from being dropped. “You’ve decided that you want to quit being a hero…” Tim nodded in response, a serious look plastered on his face. “And become a villain due to _research_? And so then you decided to come to me for help?? What research was it anyways??” Dick nodded in agreement, his face twisting into something that Jason assumed Dick thought looked cute, but really he looked like he stepped on a mouse trap but didn’t want to make any noise.

“Timmers you can’t just become a villain! It’s unhealthy, not to mention it would make family game nights even more awkward than it is-and that’s just not fair!” Dick whined, sprawling out on the floor and looking at the ceiling, as if it would tell him the answers (it wouldn’t, Jason had already checked when Tim first announced his plans).

“Well I’m glad you asked. My research was following the events that happened in my life after I became Robin.”

“Wait hold up that doesn’t count Timbo. Everyone’s life sucks when you become Robin, it’s like, tradition.”

“Yes, well, I found that even after my stint of Robin-”

“You’ve been Red Robin for like 2 years Timmy, calm down-”

“My life has progressively been going downhill. My heart rate is a resting heart-attack, I have more coffee in my body than actual blood, I’ve been betrayed and heartbroken so many times I now expect people to turn on me, and I have enough anniversaries of people's’ deaths to last an entire month. Now, if I became a villain, I would be able to do things at my time and actually have vacation. I also wouldn’t have pesky emotions such as “guilt” or a “conscious” to control my life. I wouldn’t have to surround myself with idiots just to keep up appearances or pretend to be nice to people. I could be my true bitter and jaded self. I could also t-p the batcave and not risk consequence.”

“Wow. Ok, I’m not gonna lie, that was not what I was expecting. You really don’t pull your punches, do you Timbo?” Jason said, smirking at Dick’s frozen face; Dick’s eyes were widened comically, his mouth open in the shape of an “o” and Jason was pretty sure one eyebrow was twitching. Truly, it’s the little things in life.

Tim merely shrugged. “So, you gonna help me or not? Because if not I might just take up Damian on that offer.” Damian smirked as he started to sketch again and from the looks of it, it seemed to be a new uniform.

At this, Dick lost it. “You can’t just do that!! What about the whole ‘moral code’ thing you got going on? Besides, neither Jason nor Damian would be willing to help you, right guys??” He turned to Damian and Jason, a desperate look on his face, as if Jason and Damian were his only hope. Heh, what a mistake. Jason snorted and Damian merely raised an eyebrow. “Right, yeah. I forgot you both have screwed viewpoints.” Dick sighed, and it was fascinating to see the light leave his eyes. Again, it’s the little things that matter.

“Screw morality I’m tired. Jason, you’re either helping me or not, so pick wisely because once I become a villain I will t-p whoever is on my bad side.”

“Timmy, you’ve got to be joking, seriously Jason isn’t going to help-”

“Yeah sure why not Timbo, it looks like I’m not going to be able to finish this book anytime soon. So, the first step is creating your identity.”

“Jason!!!”

“-tt- Todd, the first step is obviously creating your base first. Grandfather has a surplus amount of bases, which allows him to evade capture. Truly, are you not a supervillain?”

At this Jason was offended (he had quit trying to understand why he wasn’t confused with any of this 5 minutes into the conversation). “Hey, just because I’m a crime lord and I like blowing stuff up doesn’t mean I’m a villain. A crime lord is different than a villain you know.”

Tim replied absentmindedly, “it’s really not,” as he wrote down notes. He had started taking notes when Jason started talking, and Jason felt a tad smug that Tim had chosen to not write down what Damian said. “Shush Timmers, do you want my help or not?” Again, Jason didn’t care whether or not Tim would ac

tually do this (he had seen Alfie slip something in Tim’s coffee earlier today, Jason bet Tim wasn’t gonna remember any of this), but seeing Dickiebird look like his whole life has been a lie and that he’s about to cry is really making Jason’s day.

Tim merely grunted in reply, furiously scribbling in his notebook. “Maybe I could be an informant of some kind, or partner with Selina” Tim mused aloud, head tilted to the side as he contemplated the two _extremely different_ career options.

Again, Jason and Dick turned to gawk at Tim, incredulous expressions mirroring their faces. Damian’s only acknowledgement was a raised eyebrow.

“Hold up. Repeat that last thing for me babybird.” Jason stated, a feeling of confusion and glee (oh bless this stupid boy, B is gonna freak when he hears this) beginning to grow.

“Uhhh Selina?”

“Tim I swear on my grav-”

“Ok, ok, so pretty much before I got involved with actually being Robin, boy what a mistake that was, I low key stalked Batman and Robin. Somehow you all didn’t notice me, but Catwoman did. She saved me from falling off a building and then offered to walk me home. We sort of had some weird friendship thing after that, and she would always offer me tips on how to be stealthy and improve my undercover ability. She even offered me to be her sidekick after a while. She backed off when I became Robin though, but as far as I know the offer still stands. What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? Didn’t she ever offer this to you guys?”

All 3 boys had fully turned to Tim, each face relaying differing expressions. Jason looked like an angry chipmunk, his cheeks blown out as he tried to hold in his laughter causing his face to be a lovely shade of red. His eyebrows were furrowed as well, as if he was trying to look angry about the entire thing, but subsequently failing. Dick looked horrified, as if he couldn’t fathom the idea that one of his younger brothers almost became a leather-wearing-art-stealing-cat. His eyebrow was definitely twitching. Damian had that expression he wears whenever Tim does something stupid; his lips were turned upwards and one eyebrow was raised in a perfect arc. His nose was scrunched up, and it mildly reminded Jason of an angry kitten. Jason had realized he looked stupid, but honestly Dick’s and Damian’s expression made up for it.

Tim flashed them all a dopey smile (Alfie’s magic is flowing through his system for sure) and with the smallest slur, giggled, “You all look really stupid right now. No wonder Selina didn’t offer you the position.” At this, for the oddest reason, Dickiebird became offended.

“Hold up. Just because I am an angel and can literally do no harm,” at this Jason snorted, “does not mean I wouldn’t make a great cat! I have the flexibility to get through tough spots, plus the body to pull off that leather. No offense Tim, but you’re a twig.” Dick argued, completely forgetting that, just 5 minutes ago, he was screeching that they shouldn’t be having this discussion and that no one should be a villain.

Damian tutted, looking for too haughty for someone who was told they couldn’t be a renowned thief. “Drake, surely you must know that Kyle is truly not viewed as villain, correct? She has assisted Father on multiple cases and has even returned some of her stolen items. If you wish to be seen as a villain, you must do better than Kyle.” Jason blinked, a little shocked at the metaphorical beat down from Damian. Tim’s eyebrows furrowed, a pout that would look better on a 4-year old settled on his face. “But,” he whined. “She already has an outfit and name for me, I know itttttt!” His body began to list side-ways, and his eyes were blinking rapidly as he tried to stay awake.

Damian’s eyes narrowed, probably noticing what Jason had realized a long time ago. Babybird was doped up on drugs, and he wasn’t going to remember any of this. Jason was gonna have to ask Alfie what the recipe is, so if Dickibird gets a little too annoying sometimes, it won’t result in any bodily harm. Damian scoffed, before gathering his supplies and standing up to leave, muttering something about the unappreciated work ethic of villains as he left the room, throwing up a hand to wave goodbye to Dick. Now Jason was just stuck with Dick, who somehow still hadn’t even realized what was happening (and he took the Batman mantle, really?), and a doped up Babybird. Maybe he could ask Babs to hack the manor security cameras, because this is _comedy gold_.

“Hold up you already have an identity for it? Timmmmyyyyy I thought you always wanted to be Robin?” Dick whined and looked honestly offended at that idea that Tim could’ve gone down another path. Jason scoffed, it’s hard to cut Dick slack when he keeps forgetting that following in someone’s footsteps suck. Tim’s face scrunched up in disgust, like he had thought he had grabbed an m&m but in reality it was a skittle, and shot Dick an incredulous glare. “Yeah sure, I wanted to be Robin when I was like ten. It’s like when you’re a kid and you want to be the president, but then as you grow up you realize that politics are a horrible way of life and that you will be betrayed by those you love and will eventually lead to an early grave.” Now, this would have been more intimidating and darker, if it weren’t for the fact that Tim was slurring every other word and his eyes kept drooping. He looked more like a sleepy, lazy cat than the feared and serious Red Robin.

Dick gasped, a hand coming up to his chest.

“Timmy you can’t be serio-”

“Well, you’re not wrong Timbo.”

“JASON”

Jason settled back on the couch, crossing his arms behind his head and shrugging. “What? You know he’s not wrong. If you weren’t bent on your parents vengeance or whatever then would you have really agreed to join some dude in a bat costume? No, you wouldn’t have. And if I hadn’t been an angsty and spiteful teenage boy who had way too many hormones and no way to expel them, I definitely wouldn’t have joined that suicide mission. Timmers joined for some weird bat-symbolism that he felt was needed, and Demon Brat joined for the legacy or whatever. No one joined for fun Dick. Besides, more than half of us has died with the cape, right Timmers?” At this, Jason and Dick looked to Tim, the human google, who would know the answer. Jason had given up keeping track of who died and then came back to life; he just knew he was the first, and so obviously the trend-setter, because he’s cool.

Dick cooed while Jason breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Tim had finally passed out on the rug. He was curled up in a ball, his hoodie covering almost his entire body and he was drooling. Gross, but cute in a weird way that only babies manage. Dick tiptoed over to the sleeping kid, placing a blanket over him. He signed quickly to Jason, _“if you wake him up I’m going to kill you, also this entire villain conversation never happened”_

Oh no. Jason was NOT some glorified babysitter. He moved to get up, but Dick’s patented “if you do this thing I’m going to be very disappointed in you” look froze him in his spot. Jason cursed quietly, he was always weak to his brother’s disappointed look. Dick smiled brightly, the smile he wore when he was taking pleasure in someone else’s pain, before tiptoeing out of the room and closing the library door behind him. Now that just left Jason and Tim,who was fast asleep and didn’t look like he was waking anytime soo

n. Well at least Jason finally got some peace and quiet. He resettled on the couch, picking up his dropped book and flipping open to where he left off. At least Tim was quiet, so hopefully Jason could finish his boo-

Tim snored.

Jason froze, eyes darting down to the sleeping figure. Surely Tim didn’t actually snore, he looked too dainty for it. But then, Tim snored again and Jason let out a groan. There was no way he could read his book like this. Even Dick’s texting was quieter than this. Next time, Jason was just taking his books and then going back to his apartment; being home is not worth this.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you so much for reading!  
> Since this is the fourth post on this account, I just thought I should clarify something: there are two people on this account! You can call me Fire, and I wrote this one (duh) and the first story on this account, Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction. Phoenix, the other owner, posted and wrote the other two, Mini-Dick and The Game of Chess. We're two close-knit sisters who bonded over our love (and hate sometimes) for DC. We'll try to post sorta frequently and with somewhat of a schedule, but I guess we'll just see where it goes :) It's a pleasure to meet you all!  
> Soooo, this story is just meant to be funny and light, since Phoenix's last story was full of angst and Timmy's insecurities.   
> I incorporated my own headcannons, such as Jason still having to deal with some after-effects of the pit (he controls it, but still), so I hope that didn't bother you! Jason also doesn't feel the best about himself sometimes, so I wanted to try and slide that in. Also, Tim and Selina had to have run into each other at one point, I mean Gotham is big but not that big sooo. I also tried to show how they all worked as brothers, since in a way they are all very different from each other, but still family.  
> Again, this was just meant to be light and humorous, with even touching on Jason bonding closer with family, so it may seem that some of the characters are a bit exaggerated or extra. I hope this didn't bother you when reading, it was just meant to bring a smile to your face, so I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Thanks again for reading!


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